Not for the first time

I’m trying to learn Latin and not for the first time. 7 years ago, I bought a Latin textbook at a used-book store, took it home, and imagined knowing how to read and speak this ancient tongue. At the same time, I took a class on English’s reception of Latin literature, listening to lectures from an enthusiastic classicist, telling these stories as vigorously as if he himself were Horace, were Marvell, were Gunn. I learned about historical events which–from the professor’s glances–I should have already known about: the founding of the Roman Republic, the dictatorship of Caesar, etc. I knew there were pathways furtive and rich that I could explore if I but knew Latin.

Buying the book did nothing, and I was majoring in Spanish at the time already, but, during my Master’s program 3 years later, I did sneak in an accelerated Latin course. Well, I audited it. I bought the latest edition of the Latin textbook I found 3 years prior, and applied my Spanish learning skills to the task: making digital flash cards, trying to find latin media, though there was no language immersion program for this deceased language.

I didn’t do most of the homework in the class though, and I didn’t always attend as studying my Master’s Program proved demanding, but after I finished my MFA in creative writing, I did try using digital flashcards at home. I messaged the author of the Latin textbook, got the answer keys, bought supplemental materials, did everything short of hiring a tutor or enlisting in some program. Recently wedding after my Master’s and all that accompanies married life took precedence, as it should.

I find myself once again at the crust of a great, unknown sphere. All the previous attempts bequeath me their momentum. I’m skeptical of New Year’s resolutions but have been at this for some weeks. Will this be the year I stick to it? I’ve never gotten more than halfway through this textbook, but I’ve ditched the digital, using pen and paper flashcards to master its vocabulary. Will that make any difference? I’ve gone an hour a day the past two weeks, and I’m optimistic. Will I learn some phrase that I can utter to heal the world? Or touch one human mind?

–M. Anthony